Screenshot from Mint

I use two different tools to track my website usage.  Primarily, I use Google Analytics to measure trends, traffic sources, and generate pretty graphs that make me look sophisticated.  I also use a self-hosted tool called Mint.  Mint gives me realtime information about my site usage which is handy for spotting and responding to trends as they happen.

Yesterday, someone came to my website looking for a tape of “brian stuckey being murdered.” ಠ_ಠ  It is worth noting that someone with whom I shared a name was murdered a few months ago (in fact, we were the same age at the time).  Okay, so they probably aren’t looking for ME but they are looking for a tape of someone being brutally murdered.  That brings me to my main point: WTF is wrong with people?  Why would you WANT to watch something like that?

</rant>

From the clip:

You will never see anyone closer to a volcano than this…, Our team in Vanuatu ab seiled 500 vertical metres into the Marum Volcano on Ambrym Island to the very edge of a huge lake of violently boiling lava – live via sat phone 20 Sept 2010

NIST sells Standard Reference Materials.  These are things that laboratories can buy to ensure that they have consistent material to work with through their experiments.  Want to see some of the weird stuff they sell?  Keep reading.

Cigarettes $239.00 / SRM 1196

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=1196

Notes: The SRM is a tobacco or tobacco product, wood or wood product which is exempted by OSHA under paragraph (b) (6) (iii) and (iv) of Standards 29 CFR Part 1910.1200. These cigarettes are NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION. There are substantial safety hazards associated with exposure to both primary and second hand smoke from cigarettes. These cigarettes are only to be used under laboratory conditions described in ASTM E 2187-09.

Human Milk (non-fortified) $534.00 / SRM 1953

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=1953

Notes: “Hazardous Shipping Code: Miscellaneous Dangerous Goods”

Human Lung Powder $633.00 / SRM 4351

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=4351

Notes: I don’t have a friggin clue what this stuff is.

Toxic Metals in Freeze-Dried Urine / SRM 2670a

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=2670a

Notes: “Reconstituted Vol of Urine per vial 20.0 mL”

Natural Water $412.00 / SRM 1640a

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=1640a

Notes: “Major Health Hazards: Corrosive effects may be expected, however, severity of the damage depends on the concentration and duration of exposure. Nitric acid fumes can cause burns if inhaled. May cause burns if nitric acid solutions are swallowed or in contact with the skin.”

Baking Chocolate $670.00 / SRM 2384

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=2384

Notes: Based on everything else on this list, I don’t think I would eat it.

Peanut Butter $686.00 / SRM 2384

https://www-s.nist.gov/srmors/view_detail.cfm?srm=2387

Notes: “Hazardous Shipping Code: Miscellaneous Dangerous Goods” (Thanks for the tip, @cd0)

]]> http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/netflix-poltergeist-desperate-housewives/feed/ 0 http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/it-looks-like-someone-forgot-to-renew-their-domain-name/ http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/it-looks-like-someone-forgot-to-renew-their-domain-name/#comments Wed, 03 Nov 2010 02:06:06 +0000 Brian Stuckey http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/?p=2779 Rollingstone.com, I’m looking at you.  This photo was taken on 2/22/2010 when Rollingstone.com forgot to renew their domain name.  Oops!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The City Of The Future

(click to enlarge)

Seriously, what genius thought up the naming of this box?

An improvised explosive device (IED), also known as a roadside bomb due to contemporary use, is a homemade bomb constructed and deployed in ways other than in conventional military  action. One may be constructed of conventional military explosives, such as an artillery round, attached to a detonating mechanism.

IEDs may be used in terrorist actions or in unconventional warfare by guerrillas or commando forces in a theater of operations. In the 2003–present Iraq War, IEDs have been used extensively against coalition forces and by the end of 2007 they had become responsible for approximately 40% of coalition deaths in Iraq. They are also the weapon of choice for insurgent groups in the 2001–present Afghanistan War.

[from WIKIPEDIA]

If you work for the city of Minneapolis and have any idea what this is about, please leave me a message in comments.

Here is a good response from Reddit user mcki0154

Ok….Here to save the day…As a resident of Minneapolis I can answer this easily. The storm sewer has a heating coil wrapped around it in order to keep the sewer from bursting due to a cold snap or heavy freeze during the winter months. As xoites said, the sign is there to warn engineers and workers of potential dangers b/c only some pipes (particularly storm sewers with less turbidity) are prone to freezing while others (high traffic) do not freeze b/c of constant rushing water (like how a river does not completely freeze)

Marty McFly: [looks through a camcorder] This is uh… This is heavy duty, Doc. This is great. Uh, does it run, like, on regular unleaded gasoline?
Dr. Emmett Brown : Unfortunately no, it requires something with a little more kick – plutonium.
Marty McFly: Uh, plutonium? Wait a minute. Are-
Marty McFly: Are you telling me that this sucker is nuclear?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Hey, hey, hey. Keep rolling. Keep rolling, there.
[Marty raises the camcorder]
Dr. Emmett Brown: No, no, no, no, no. This sucker’s electrical. But I need a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity I need.
Marty McFly: Doc, you don’t just walk into a store and-and buy plutonium. Did you rip that off?
Dr. Emmett Brown: Shhhhhh. Of course. From a group of Libyan nationalists. They wanted me to build them a bomb, so I took their plutonium and in turn, gave them a shiny bomb-casing full of used pinball machine parts! Come on! Let’s get you a radiation suit. We must prepare to reload.

Cthulhu is one of the central Great Old Ones of the Lovecraft Mythos. It is often cited for the extreme descriptions given of its hideous appearance, its gargantuan size, and the abject terror that it evokes. Cthulhu is often referred to in science fiction and fantasy circles as a tongue-in-cheek shorthand for extreme horror or evil.

]]> http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/volume-controls-design-vs-expectation/feed/ 0 http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/the-printer-who-says-ni/ http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/uncategorized/the-printer-who-says-ni/#comments Sun, 23 May 2010 22:23:39 +0000 Brian Stuckey http://www.ineedcaffeine.com/content/2010/05/the-printer-who-says-ni/ Apparently this printer like Monty Python……

Why would Apple use a different material for these keys?  (My wired Apple Keyboard does the exact same thing.)  Does anyone know why there is this difference?

The unusual keys:

• J
• F
• Cap Lock
• Fn
• Control
• Alt / Option
• Enter / Return
• arrow keys

Click here to view the embedded video.

• The Flashlight: http://www.dealextreme.com/details.dx/sku.10709
• The Keyboard: http://store.apple.com/us/product/MC184LL/A?fnode=MTY1NDA1Mg&mco=MTMzNzg5MDM

Sam: The words “big” and “large” only begin to describe this thing.
Max: I think “stupid” and “inane” would be useful additions.
Sam: Not to mention “grotesque.”

Some information on the ball of twine from the official website:

Darwin, Minnesota is the home of a the largest Twine Ball in the World made by one man, Francis A. Johnson.

The Twine Ball is 4 meters (13 ft) in diameter, 40 ft in circumference, and weighs 17,400 pounds (7,900 kg).

Francis A. Johnson started his obsession in March of 1950 and wrapped for 4 hours every day for 23 weeks.

Francis lifted it with a crane to continue proper wrapping as he went along. For 39 years, this magnificent sphere evolved at Johnson’s farm. Eventually the ball was moved to a circular open air shed on his front lawn.

When Francis died in 1989, the city of Darwin moved the ball onto a special city lot across from the park on Main Street.

The gazebo that shelters it today allows viewing from all sides through Plexiglas panels.

The museum is a volunteer-run museum and gift shop that offers key information on the ball’s history as well many unique souvenirs.

The official website, complete with misspellings http://www.darwintwineball.com/

Short crappy video of the ball

Click here to view the embedded video.

And if you are so motivated, here is where it is located:

View Larger Map

Photos of the ball of twine

[Show as slideshow]

I purchased the unlocked Nexus One this past week and signed up for the Simply Everything Plus plan which includes VVM as a standard feature.  Everything on the phone works except for the visual voicemail.  I downloaded the application, tried several times and had no luck.  I gave up and went to the nearest T Mobile store for help.  The employee who was helping me was very kind and we tried calling the T Mobiles customer support and technical support several times and no one had a resolution.  It was only after about 45 minutes that she was transferred to Google support that we had an answer.  According to the rep, Google is blocking VVM on the Nexus one and suggests that I switch to Google Voice.  No F#$%king Way.

I am inclined to believe the employee helping me.  When the Google support person told her that, she turned white and verified that she heard him correctly.  Not only was this news to me, this was apparently news to everyone at T Mobile as well.  It is possible that she was mistaken and if I find out more information, I will gladly correct this post.  As it stands right now, I am still w/o VVM and it doesn’t appear that I will ever have it.

I don’t like Google having all of my personal information.  They have my contacts and calendar, a different company handles my email and T Mobile now handles my voice (after another bad Sprint experience.)  No one company should handle all of my information and that is why I am not using Google Voice.  I have an account and it seems like a great service, I just don’t like that Google is handling it.

If you find a workaround, please post it below so I can update this post!

Text from error messages:

Not Activated: You do not have access to Visual Voicemail. Please upgrade your account.

Visual Voicemail: Visual Voicemail is available with this phone as part of your data plan for no additional charge.  Click below to enable Visual Voicemail on your account.

Change Service Result: Your purchase cannot be completed at this time. Please visit My t-mobile.com or call 611 to purchase this value bundle.

Background:

I am 22 months in to a 24 month contract.  Sprint made a material change on Jan 1 2010 to my account and on principal alone, I wanted to terminate my contract.  In the contract that Sprint and I agreed to, I gave them the right to change the contract and they granted me the right to exit the contract for a material change.

Sprint made a material change to my account and I want to exit my contract.   I am not looking to change service providers nor am I looking to terminate my service.  I simply want to go month-to-month/non-contract and stay with Sprint.  According to three reps I talked to (1 online, 2 over the phone) – the only way to get out of my contact is to terminate the service or switch to a new carrier.  They are forcing me to go to the competition.

Let me reiterate that:  Sprint is not allowing users to stay on their network who disagree with material changes to their contract.  I want to stay with Sprint but they won’t let me!  If I want out of the contract, they are forcing me to leave.  They won’t simply prematurely terminate the contract and keep me as a customer.

I’ve paid every bill on time and have great credit.   You would think they would want to keep my service.  And all of this because of 2x $0.20 fees.  Someone is missing the big picture.  You know, someone could just wave 40 cents in fees and keep me in contract….

01/05/2010 06:53:44PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “How are you doing Brian?”
01/05/2010 06:53:52PM    Stuckey: “Im great, thank you”
01/05/2010 06:53:56PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “You’re welcome.”
01/05/2010 06:53:58PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “May I please have the reason you are chatting with us today?”
01/05/2010 06:54:09PM    Stuckey: “I have less than ********** months left of a ********** month contract. The regulatory fee is a material change to my original contract and I would like to switch to a month-to-month plan and keep my service.”
01/05/2010 06:55:22PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “One moment please.”
01/05/2010 06:55:31PM    Stuckey: “Sure thing.”
01/05/2010 06:57:17PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “I apologize but you are not able to go to a month to month basis since your contract is still effective.”
01/05/2010 06:57:35PM    Stuckey: “Right, but this isn’t the contract that I originally agreed to”
01/05/2010 06:57:54PM    Stuckey: “By allowing Sprint to change the contract, I was granted the right to exit for material changes”
01/05/2010 06:58:08PM    Stuckey: “I don’t want to cancel my service, only go month-to-month”
01/05/2010 06:59:21PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “That is correct and you cancel your service if you would like. You may call Account services to discuss that issue with them since they handle cancellations and contracts. The number is **********-**********-**********, option ********** and **********.”
01/05/2010 06:59:41PM    Stuckey: “I’m not looking to cancel”
01/05/2010 07:00:01PM    Stuckey: “Just to terminate the contract and become a monthly paying customer”
01/05/2010 07:00:11PM    Stuckey: “There are less than ********** months left”
01/05/2010 07:00:42PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “I understand that but they maybe able to cancel your contract since there is a change in it. But then they would still keep your service active. Account services handles that.”
01/05/2010 07:01:06PM    Stuckey: “Got it – Can they see these call notes?”
01/05/2010 07:01:25PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “They sure can see your account notes.”
01/05/2010 07:01:36PM    Stuckey: “Okay, I will give them a call. Thank you”
01/05/2010 07:01:46PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “You’re welcome.”
01/05/2010 07:01:49PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “May I please ask if you have any further questions for me?”
01/05/2010 07:02:02PM    Stuckey: “No more questions”
01/05/2010 07:02:07PM    Agent (Ahmed H.): “Thank You for choosing Sprint as your wireless provider. We appreciate your business. Have a great day.”
01/05/2010 07:02:30PM    Session Ended

See also:

http://consumerist.com/2009/12/30-day-window-to-cancel-sprint-without-penalty-starts-tomorrow.html

Oh, and this game came out in 1988.  I feel really old now.

Boring Action Video!

Click here to view the embedded video.

Description from Wikipedia:

The mysterious enemy known as DOH has returned to seek vengeance on the Vaus space vessel. The player must once again take control of the Vaus (paddle) and overcome many challenges in order to destroy DOH once and for all. Revenge of Doh sees the player battle through 34 rounds, taken from a grand total of 64.

New Features:

Revenge of Doh differs from its predecessor with the introduction of “Warp Gates”. Upon completion of a level or when the Break (‘B’) pill is caught, two gates appear at the bottom of the play area, on either side. The player can choose to go through either one of the gates – the choice will affect which version of the next level is provided. The fire-button is only used when the Laser (‘L’) or Catch (‘C’) pill is caught.

The game also featured two new features for bricks. Notched silver bricks, like normal silver bricks, take several hits to destroy. However, after a short period of time after destruction, they regenerate at full strength. Fortunately, clearing a level does not require that any notched bricks be destroyed. Also, some bricks move from side to side as long as their left and/or right sides are not obstructed by other bricks.

The US version features an entirely different layout for Level 1 that feature an entire line of notched bricks, with all colored bricks above it moving from side to side.

The game features a mini-boss in the form of a giant brain, which will help you practice for DOH. You must aim for the brain’s mouth to defeat it.

Home versions of Revenge of DOH also featured a level editor, where players could create their own levels or edit and replace existing levels, with the exception of two levels: the mini-boss and DOH.

BTW, This thing will give you nightmares.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Technologic

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip – unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam – unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax – rename it,
Touch it, bring it, Pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Technologic [4x]

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip – unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam – unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax – rename it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip – unzip it
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it

Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam – unlock it,
Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,

Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax – rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip – unzip it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax – rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,
Trash it, change it, mail – upgrade it,
Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,
Snap it, work it, quick – erase it,
Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,
Load it, check it, quick – rewrite it,
Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,
Drag and drop it, zip – unzip it,
Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,
View it, code it, jam – unlock it,
Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,
Cross it, crack it, switch – update it,
Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,
Scan it, send it, fax – rename it,
Touch it, bring it, pay it, watch it,
Turn it, leave it, start – format it.

Technologic